The VetsConnection Podcast
Join host Scott McLean, a veteran and also a passionate advocate for veterans' well-being. Each week Scott will bring you an episode that will feature insightful conversations with representatives from non-profit organizations dedicated to supporting veterans, as well as experts discussing programs within the Veterans Affairs (V.A.) aimed at assisting veterans with their needs. From discussing innovative therapies to highlighting community resources, this podcast sheds light on the myriad of ways veterans can find support and healing thru nonprofit organizations and also to connect nonprofits with each other in hopes of creating a network that will be beneficial to all.
The VetsConnection Podcast
Ep. 45 - Talking With Tim Roberto, Founder Of Stomping Out The Stigma. How a Walk Transformed One Man's Mission for Mental Health
Mental health struggles can often go unspoken, especially within the military and first responder communities. Tim Roberto, Marine veteran and founder of the nonprofit Stomping Out the Stigma, intimately understands the pain of addiction and the urgent need for support. In this episode, we delve into his journey — from battles with alcoholism to finding redemption through recovery. Tim's candid narrative highlights not only his personal struggles but also the mission behind his organization, which aims to eliminate stigmas surrounding mental health issues, empowering those who serve our communities.
We explore the inception of Stomping Out the Stigma and its focus on providing a safe haven for veterans and first responders, where they can seek help without the fear of being judged or losing their jobs. Tim speaks passionately about his recent 71-mile walk that raised awareness and funds for mental health services. This endeavor brought together countless individuals, emphasizing the importance of connection, community, and dialogue regarding mental health.
During our discussion, Tim shares insightful stories of hope and resilience that remind us that healing is possible. He breaks down the misconceptions surrounding addiction and highlights the importance of seeking help. Encouraging listeners to engage with the mission of Stomping Out the Stigma, Tim emphasizes that we are all part of this vital journey together.
In a world where silence often prevails, Tim’s work is a powerful reminder that sharing our stories can foster healing and support. Head over to SOTSinc.org to learn more, donate to the cause, or join one of Tim’s upcoming events. Let's work together to stomp out the stigma surrounding mental health and create a supportive community for those who need it most. Your engagement can and will make a difference — don’t hesitate to be part of the change.
Welcome to the podcast. I'm Scott McClain. My guest today is Tim Roberto. Tim is the founder and CEO of Stomping Out the Stigma. How you doing, tim? Hey, scott, I'm doing well, man, thanks. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to the big pink couch. Yeah, yeah, thanks for having me. It's comfy. Mike Foundation Studio sponsored by Willow and Palm Construction. Willow and Palm Construction, south Florida's premier builder. Willow and Palm Construction from driveways to roofs to buildings, if you need it, they'll do it. You can find them at willowandpalmcom. They're very good to me, it's got a nice ring to it.
Scott McLean:Yeah yeah, there's a whole story behind the Willow and Palm name Willowandpalm it.
Tim Roberto:Yeah yeah, there's a whole story behind the Willow and Palm name WillowandPalmcom. Yeah.
Scott McLean:Yeah, yeah, they love being in the veteran space, and so we have a good partnership, yeah Great people.
Tim Roberto:So, tim, where are you from? Originally? I was born in Brooklyn and then mom and dad moved out to North Jersey. It was the area I was in even back then, because I was born in 62 by 65, the area we in we were in, as we would say, from brooklyn or north jersey. It was getting a little fugazi, yeah, yeah, so mom and dad were, you know, and then we went to north jersey, bergen county, okay, yeah, okay, and you're a veteran, I am all right. When did you go in and what did you go into? I went into the Marine Corps in 1982. Ah, 1982. A year after I graduated high school.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, I'm getting old, scott. Yeah, I'm 62 now, man, it's okay, I'm 61.
Scott McLean:It's okay.
Tim Roberto:Oh, you're doing the creep right with me.
Scott McLean:Yeah, yeah, it's okay. I love this part of my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have no issues with it. Yeah, so you went in the Marines, I did 82. Okay, hurrah.
Tim Roberto:Where were you stationed? Down in Camp Lejeune? Lejeune, Pendleton and Foster. Okay, yeah All right.
Scott McLean:Like me, you were a Cold War veteran. Yeah, never saw any combat. No, I was in that transition. Yeah, I was in from 87 to 97. And I was it was. I saw that like happen right in front of me. I was stationed in Sacramento. It made the Air Force Base weird.
Tim Roberto:I mean I was getting close. Yeah, Because I was. When I was at Lejeune, I was at Camp Geiger. It was like a you know it's an offshoot of Lejeune on the same property. All the guys were coming back from Beirut. You know the rotation, especially after the barracks blew up and they were all coming. I thought I was just convinced it was a matter of time. Yeah.
Scott McLean:Yeah, you know, I think this is episode 43 of this podcast and of all the foundations that I've interviewed and the veterans that I've interviewed, the majority seem to be Marines. I it's it. Majority seem to be Marines. It's baffling to me. I love it, I love it, but like then, there's Army, army comes in second, and then Air Force and, I think, one Navy person so far but. Marines just seem to be really involved in these things.
Tim Roberto:Well, if you're going to do it, you know you got to.
Scott McLean:Yeah.
Tim Roberto:Marine Corps is the way to go.
Scott McLean:Yeah Well, I'm an air force guy, so I don't yeah, we'll have a debate about that, as I always say, the the marines ate in the chow hall, the air force ate in the dining facility. Yeah, you lived in the barracks. We lived in the dormitory 100 and we had a real military style beautiful dress, uniform, we had a suit, we had a blue suit.
Tim Roberto:So those are a lot of big differences and we got all you guys hand-me-downs.
Scott McLean:That's true too. We had better food. We had better equipment.
Tim Roberto:We had better living facilities. Yeah, we got all the stuff that was used.
Tim Roberto:Yeah yeah, it's all right, though, yeah it's all good, we're all in it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all right though. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, it's all good, we're all in it together. Yeah, we are. Yeah, so do you get out? Right, I get out. What year gosh I got out?
Tim Roberto:I was on the two and a half year plan, okay, yep. Yeah, I struggled a lot with mental health and a lot of addiction issues and, you know, as a marine, I struggled being able to communicate my feelings and how I felt. This has gone back to when I was a young boy. So, just, you know, came into fruition in the Marine Corps. There was a lot of expectations, a lot of things that needed to be accomplished.
Tim Roberto:Of course, you're a Marine, you accomplish them, but my mental health wasn't doing as good as I would have liked it to be. So I struggled and that created a two-and-a-half-year plan for me, okay, and then, you know, that was probably one of my first, my greatest losses, yeah, with my alcoholism, and that crushed me and I really spiraled after that because, you know, it gave me a lot of guilt and a lot of shame, a lot of men that I had in my lives that I was separated from. I hang my head in shame. You know it was a title that's earned an earned title and yeah, that was a very difficult, very difficult time in my life.
Scott McLean:Yeah, so the struggle is real, as they say oh my gosh, yeah. The struggle is real, as they say oh my gosh, yeah, struggle is real. So you what just kind of moved along through it with it.
Tim Roberto:They helped me move along.
Scott McLean:Yeah. So when you got out, you kind of went through it on your own. There was no real, yeah, it was brutal.
Tim Roberto:No brotherhood, no sisterhood, no, no, it was just kind of You're out there, I'm out and you know, little did I know. I always thought something was wrong with me, you know, and I was really. When you boil it all down, it's just like I have this bug and with me that bug. It's kind of like the undisputed champ. I don't like how I feel, it's just the way it is. I stopped a thousand times in my life but I couldn't stay stopped, you know, and I always looked at it as weakness. I always looked at it as willpower. You have lack of willpower. You were a Marine. You know how could you be so weak? And all this stuff and these conversations I would have would just really F me up.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, and my whole life was, from the Marine Corps on was the greatest battle I've ever been in and that was liking who I was and the body I was in and I did whatever I did. I did whatever I had to to get out of it. I couldn't live life on life's terms. That's what it is. I couldn't live life on life's terms. I didn't have an eating. I didn't eat my feelings, I didn't sexually act out my feelings. I didn't go to the racetrack. Ba ba, ba ba ba. I drank a lot of booze Drugs. Oh yeah, yeah, the 80s, 80s tons of blow. Yeah yeah, it was all over the place. Plus I was growing, washington Bridge and the Spanish Harlem Right there it's crazy.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, you know.
Scott McLean:Yeah, no different, growing up in Boston back then yeah. Same right, yeah, yeah. It was everywhere. So at what point did you say enough is enough, Like years later? And what was? If you don't mind me asking this, what was the bottom? Don't mind me asking this what was the bottom? What was the? Was there ever any ideologies, like suicidal ideology or anything like that, or was it?
Tim Roberto:just yeah, I had thoughts, I just never had a plan Right. So, thank God, thank God, yeah, yeah, I never crossed that line. I crossed the line with with alcoholism, because that led me to cocaine and then I could, yeah, but people, you know, I'll be celebrating 18 years this April 15th. Beautiful, beautiful and it's funny, you know, like I'm big in recovery here and a lot of people know me and I've given my heart to it because, you know, what I have today is something I always wanted. I just didn't know how to get it. So I'm really grateful for that. But one of my nicknames here is Tax Day, tim.
Scott McLean:Well, you know, the listeners have to know what that's all about, right?
Tim Roberto:And it's a great lead-in for me because I have the honor to speak a lot. You know, and I'll say I'll introduce myself as, hey, I'm a recovered alcoholic. My name's Tim. I'm also known as tax day tim around here and some people just look at you with a blank face and some people crack up like you do it. So I go to the guy with the blank face. I say, okay, you don't pay your taxes because you have no idea what I'm talking about. You over there, aka scott, you're laughing. You know what I'm talking. It's a great icebreaker, right? And then I started getting into my story.
Scott McLean:So at what point do you decide to like because and I've said this a number of times to start a nonprofit you have to be a different kind of bird man, like you got to be a different cat, I should say To say I'm going to do, I'm going to start a nonprofit because it's not easy, right, and I'm right at the a nonprofit. Because it's not easy, right, and I'm right at the beginning stages of it. I've been fortunate, but it's not easy, right, and it's a. It is an extreme commitment and myself, being a recovering alcoholic, I understand commitment isn't the easiest thing. It's not really. We're not. We weren't wired for commit. We were committed to drinking and drugging but we weren't committed to really much of anything else because we're selfish by nature, alcoholics. You know the whole thing. So when did you just say you know what, I'm going to start a nonprofit and then take us into that?
Tim Roberto:That's a great question, man. It's like just so deep. You know what I mean. And when I was able to find myself. So you said you know you're an alcoholic in recovery. So it's people like you, like I said before, that gave me what I have. Somebody like you showed me how to stop going to Home Depot for ice cream. I don't know any other way to put it. It's a good way to put it. As long as I was going to Home Depot for ice cream and I couldn't find it, I'd get pissed, take my ball, stomp my feet through the parking lot and then, of course, I drank.
Tim Roberto:So for me, you know this Marine, this guy that I was in the Marine Corps with. When we got out he went to be a Newark cop. I said gosh, charlie, what are you doing? Are you nuts? He's like Tim, it's just the way it is. I understood that he was a cop for six years in Newark. It broke him down and the city doctor you know Newark, whatever you go through, yeah, and they put him on Klonopin and take the. I think within under a year I'm pretty sure it's within under a year he was to the needle, lost his. Pretty sure it's within under a year. He was to the needle, lost his job as a police officer for six years, so he was the guy that was already in treatment. He dropped me off and so you know people ask me so what do you think happened?
Tim Roberto:I'll tell you exactly what happened. My pain outgrew my fear and in this incredible gift oh amazing gift I've been giving back, because that's part of, for me, my 12th step. Right, because I'm a-step guy and the 12th step is after overcoming, right. Yeah, so we give it away what was so freely given to us. We carried a message to the alcoholic that's still suffering.
Tim Roberto:So I wanted to start doing something. I have a lot of friends who are Leos and first responders and we were kind of talking one day. I live in Palm Beach county, florida, and we're talking and one guy was like, yeah, this is crazy man. He's like like you know, palm beach county has the highest suicide rate out of any other county in florida. Yes, for first responders, yes. So I said him, what are we doing about it? And he's like nothing, the highest rate. So it just so happened. Again, I was coming up on my 15th anniversary and I wanted to do something and for me I found God in my recovery and said all right, god, I want to do something big for you. This is 15. I'm going to commit to something I don't know what yet.
Scott McLean:It's that word.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, commit right, yeah, well when I was drinking and drugging, I was the most undisciplined guy I knew, yeah. So I created little disciplines in my recovery, you know, and I still do and practice them today. So I live in Boynton Beach. I got sober in Deerfield Beach. I'm looking on my phone, I said to my wife. I said, man, this is the strangest thing. She's like what are you talking about? I said I'm actually looking up how far Boynton Beach is from Deerfield. She's like that is kind of weird. Why are you doing that? I said I don't know. I was just having this conversation with God like I want to do. I'm looking up on my phone, I see 20 miles.
Tim Roberto:But then it clicked, man, like after a couple of days I heard and you know, I think, a lot of believers or people who've had these extraordinary shifts in their lives. You know they understand what I'm saying. I just heard Take it back to where you got sober. Ah, ah, god, I'm going to walk 20 miles. I'm going to bust my butt. I'm going to walk 20 miles. I'm going to bust my butt. I'm going to praise you. I'm going to go all the way down and show you how committed I am and grateful I am. That was like eight and a half hours, nine hour walk. And then the next thing I heard was I love you too, tim, and I know your heart is good, but you're going to have eight and a half nine hours to walk, but you're going to have eight and a half nine hours to walk. I want you to bring attention to mental health, alcoholism and first responders.
Tim Roberto:And as that started marinating, I was like, well, they struggle with all of them. I'm just going to make it first responders. And then the next thing, you know, it's starting to get legs. I'm like, wow, man, this is really, this is happening. I'm like what am I going to call it? I have no idea what I'm going to call it. Dude, it's crazy.
Tim Roberto:Every time I tell this story I start getting goose bumps, like all those little fuzzies. You know I do Because it was so deep and the only way I can explain it, whether you believe it or not, I'm not responsible for that, but I just tell it and yeah, man, so I'm just going to stop it out because there's a big stigma, not only to mental health, alcohols, but even the culture you know whether you're a veteran first responders, that culture, everything's good and fine, and that was. That was the catalyst of my spiraling in the Marine Corps. That's all I kept saying. Good and fine, good and fine, everything's good and fine. Meanwhile inside I was crumbling. Next thing, you know, it's showtime and I'm walking from Boynton Beach. I started out at a firehouse in Boynton Beach and I ended up at a firehouse in Deerfield and by the time I got to Deerfield I had somebody on the PA system in one of the fire trucks going you can do it.
Tim Roberto:Get up, because by the time I got down it was hot and I was oh my God, man. I just tanked what?
Scott McLean:time of the year did you do?
Tim Roberto:it April, april, april 15th, wow, okay. So I trained. It took a lot of training and this is why I have a beard. I say, like I said, you know I'm 62. I never had a beard in my entire life until three years ago. Because when I was training, you know, I was like as a Marine, I was like, I know, I got to start training, I got to get through the blister stage. All right, I'm going to get blisters, and I did. I got them twice, my first five or six mile walk and then, I think, in in my first 10-mile training, I got blisters again to get through that. This one day it was hot, as you know what, and I was just I don't know if I was hallucinating or just whatever. I'm like God, Timmy, where'd you get yourself into? I had to sit down over. I was doing my first 15-mile walk. I said God, please help me, give me a second. This was building up to the big walk.
Scott McLean:Correct the walk. Correct 20 miles, 21 miles. Yeah, you don't want to short yourself any. A foot on something like that, oh, literally 12 inches.
Tim Roberto:You want to give yourself the whole 21. A hundred percent, bro. A hundred percent, yeah. So I was really frustrated, man. The last couple of miles were really tough and I, you know I just needed help. I asked God for help again. So the next day you know, it's only three years ago, so I'm 59. I shaved my whole life. I'm going to shave again the next morning after I lost my you-know-what and just before I was going to stroke. Don't shave until the walk. That will remind you every day when you look at what you're doing, like playoff hockey.
Scott McLean:Don't shave NHLoff hockey.
Tim Roberto:Don't shave NHL these players don't shave, they're in the playoffs and then you know my guys, you, my wife, wow, I really like it. I got all these compliments, but the best compliment was from my wife, so I've kept it ever since. That is, yeah, I kept it ever since.
Scott McLean:So you're working up to this. In that time, are you looking for sponsors? Are you looking for donors? You're just going to do this as a thing right, because it's you, it's just you doing it. Your idea Correct All organic, all organic. Okay.
Tim Roberto:And then I did know an organization that I was going to give the proceeds to, because you could sign, you could register at a walk. I also put together a hero's dinner. I have this phenomenal Italian friend of mine from Brooklyn, hey, dina, she's also a licensed mental health counselor, family and marriage, and she's a I've been working with her for years. Wow, and she's dude. Her and her sister cooked us this meal at the women's club in Deerfield Beach, right across from a firehouse. So I sold tickets to that and I raised a lot of money and I gave it to this organization two times in a row. But then, you know, there was a cut, I think, for somebody else's, yeah, and I was like cut no. So the third year I made it my own 501c.
Scott McLean:So you're doing this each year, each year, and so after the first year it was the first year kind of on the house you just did it to do it, and then you built up to getting donations. Hey, I'm doing this again, you know, this year. So now I want sponsors, now I want donations, know, and it's going to go toward.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, I didn't even ask. This is going to be my fourth one, right? I haven't even asked for sponsors. I still get these, I get donations, but how do you advertise it? How do you? Word of mouth, word of mouth, that's it, that's it. And I've had some wonderful people in my life. Yeah, first responders, leos, vets.
Tim Roberto:That help get the word out yeah, because I would do the same for them too. It's just, you know, the camaraderie and the brotherhood that we have. You know, no one left behind, kind of meant. You know, so, yeah, so.
Scott McLean:So you raise the money and then you do it the next year and it's a little bit more attention, more word of mouth, more formulated right, it gets right, carved differently each year. We learn from our mistakes, you know, yeah, doing this stuff and now the last one I did with last april.
Tim Roberto:I walked 71 miles. I was like I'm going big man, because something's happening here, and if something's happening here, I and if something's happening here, I want more people to know about it. And where did you walk to? This time? I walked from Green Acres, florida, all the way down to Surfside Memorial in Miami. Yeah, surfside, yeah. So I left on a Sunday in Green Acres at like 8, 830. Had a huge send off man Cops, first responders, council members, mayor chiefs, like dude man. It was like sick, it was incredible. And I ended up all the way down at Surfside Memorial, had a big, you know, bunch of people waiting. That's where the condominium collapsed. It was very surreal, scott. It was like a little mini, like a little mini Vietnam wall there.
Scott McLean:I can't.
Tim Roberto:Imagine 98 people, yeah, and then the closer I got to the memorial, was there more people, more of the first responders I was talking to in my journey. They actually showed up on the, you know, the initial calls and then, of course, they were down there for a very long time and even green acres were sending people. Yeah, it was, they were.
Scott McLean:A lot of people got affected by that how long does it take you to plan out the route that you're gonna walk?
Tim Roberto:I had some phenomenal people that were just like you said. You know, they the, the, the rallying cry, yeah, yeah was going, and these guys rallied. Man, I had a guy talk to me. We were in hollywood, I'm, I'm walking, this guy, a big fire truck pulls up. This dude jumps out hey, man, you little company, and we're talking, and he told me some stuff US1, a1a, that kind of that side of the.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, when I left Green Acres, I went, like I wiggled a little to get to federal, okay, federal, yeah, federal all the way until I even took it. It splits down there by the airport. I walked behind the airport, okay, and then I went over an inlet, yeah, and then my lat. My next stop was in hollywood. Right was hollywood, hollandale, yeah, hollywood, then hollandale, yeah, hollandale. I had a big meal. Yeah, oh, they were. They were incredible. Okay, dude, it changed my life and that took you. How many hours it took me. I left on a Sunday here in Green Acres at 8.30 in the morning. I got down there on Friday around 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Scott McLean:So you walked for almost a week, yeah, five days. Yeah, six days, six days, yeah, five days, yeah, six days. Six days, yeah, all night. No, I would rest. How did that work out? How did that go Like? How does that work, I should say.
Tim Roberto:It was intense. So the goal was to stop at all the fire stations all the way down. Okay, yeah, yeah, but this is the funny thing. So, boynton, the first day out, I did three fire stations Stopped by three fire stations? Correct? Hey, you know they were. Oh, we're so grateful for you that you're doing it. Do they know you're coming or is this a?
Scott McLean:walk-in, a lot of them Dropping. No, hey, what's up guys?
Tim Roberto:No, they knew I was coming and it looked like it anyway. Yeah, yeah, because I had an escort the entire way.
Scott McLean:So that was another question I had, because this is pretty interesting stuff. Yeah, yeah, dude, it was deep.
Tim Roberto:I had people pulling up into Lowe's parking lots. Yeah, hey, man, I heard about you. My son's a fire person. My son's a police officer In Lighthouse Point. I'm walking down the road and I'm a Marine the cop I hit. If you look at some of the pictures on the website, you'll see the cop from Lighthouse Point. He was a Marine. I'm just hoofing it, man. This guy's escorting me and he's got his window open. We're just BSing.
Tim Roberto:You know, on the way down it was deep. But the first day, you know, my last stop was boynton and they, you know the guys were getting emotional. They took me to their hallway before you get to the kitchen and they had one of their guys that they lost to suicide. That was my one of many convictions. I felt convicted when I seen that, like I am responsible to bring a message to this culture, to to this section. You know they're only 2% of the population's first responders but they're responsible for 20% of death by suicide and Palm Beach County has the highest suicide rate out of any other county in Florida. So I knew I was on a mission. I knew as soon as I made the commitment that day. The rest was in God's hands. As soon as I made the commitment that day, the rest was in God's hands, and so, yeah, so anyway, though.
Tim Roberto:But that third stop, after 15 miles, everything was really loud. You had sirens, you had bell calls, you know, for a call. You had all engines starting and I'm thinking, man, I'm like you know, I was what? 61? I'm like I need to get rest. Like I don't think I'm really going to get rest here, I'm going to collapse, probably halfway down. So I said chief, I said I might need to regroup. He's like what do you mean regroup? Like I think I need to go home and sleep in my own bed. It's like that's a great idea. That's about the message we don't want you to stop, you know, to lose the ability to carry this. What you've been doing is great, you know. He's like I'll work it out. Wherever you end up stopping, I'll get somebody to grab you and they'll take you back home and pick you up in the morning. They'll drop you back home and pick you up in the morning.
Scott McLean:They'll drop you back, Drop you back down when you stopped last year. You can't live outside. It's not safe. Number one Like you could be a madman. Be like I'm going to fucking sleep on the side of the road. I'm like in it. I got my backpack. Like you can't do that.
Tim Roberto:No, you need rest. Yes, and you need hydration yeah, and you need food.
Scott McLean:And you know, and, like you said, it's about the message You're still doing it. You're not sure that you're getting dropped off where you left off, correct. And you continue that. And then I would just continue, and then do that, and someone drives you back up Correct, drives you back down Correct.
Tim Roberto:Pick up. It's a great strategy. It couldn't have gone any better. Yeah, and I just did that the whole way down and by the time I got down there, like each day, it seemed like the attention grew, it grew.
Tim Roberto:I met in a parking lot in Deerfield Beach where I went for treatment. There was a program there and there was about 60 of them out in a parking lot waiting for me. With the first respond, they got permission to be, you know, because they're their clients, and I told them it was the same place I showed up in April of 2007 that this guy was in the Marine Corps with at Camp Lejeune, dropped me off there. The guy that was the cop and you should have seen how that lit them up when they because none of them knew that and to hear a guy that's walking 71 miles, he's about into deer field, he's still got to get to miami. And to hear a guy hey, I came here just like you, april, blah, blah. I believe in you. It's treatable. I'm here to show you it is. And they all walked with me. I think they got permission, I think it was about a quarter, and they all walked with me. I think they got permission. I think it was about a quarter mile. They all just for that ceremonial, you know so.
Tim Roberto:And then at the end we had a here I call them the heroes dinner. We had it at the green acres municipal complex. It holds 125 people who are standing room only, but my goal was to get professionals wearing the badge. I also know personal, you know prior first, but my goal was to get professionals wearing the badge. I also know personal. You know first responders in recovery that I met because I'm very into it. I'm a counselor too.
Tim Roberto:One guy I had speak. He's phenomenal. I had him in my groups nine years ago and so over. So I had professionals that are advocating for the mental health needs and we need how, we need to change the conversation. And I had a hashtag real shit, that's right. First responder up there. This is what it was like, this is what happened, this is what it's like now.
Tim Roberto:And everybody was just like, oh my God. But the real touching thing was, too, that this battalion chief man, gosh I loved him to death, his name's Sam. What a phenomenal chief man, gosh. I loved him to death His name's Sam. What a phenomenal dude man. Like no wonder he was a battalion chief. Everything was like just like unbelievable. Some people say it's OCD Just being a good leader, 100%. Yeah, you know, I just committed. Yeah, he was droning the whole thing. Wow. And then at the dinner they introduced, you know, we said and he said now I want to show you a little bit about what happened this last week and why we're all here. And so he said I asked Tim, these songs that I picked are Tim's songs, not mine. And when we were down at Surfside, when it was all said and done, he's like hey, I want you to give me three songs that are important to you. Oh boy, I want you to give me three songs that are important to you. Oh boy, I know I was like, wow, that's deep.
Scott McLean:Yeah, there's a lot of music out there that we've grown up listening to, but I rattled it off real quick.
Tim Roberto:What were they? Sometimes I feel like my own friend.
Scott McLean:Oh yeah, that's not.
Tim Roberto:Chili Peppers Under the Bridge. A Creed song Higher.
Scott McLean:No, the other Creed song, no, it was that. I think that was a big hit.
Tim Roberto:And then Justin Moore, if Heaven Wasn't so Far Away. Okay, so you gave him those three songs and the way he edited it sounds like he's got skills, thank you, I had no idea this thing was being droned. He droned the whole thing. So, like I'm going over this bridge in Miami before I get to Surfside, I got all these firefighters and cops that are walking with me because they were the first I was by, you know, outside of Surfside. They were the first guys on the scene and it was deep man, that conversation going over that bridge was deep. And then this beautiful, beautiful fireboat boat shows up and they're blowing all their jets. I'm just getting emotional because it's like, wow, that was really cool, you know, and but I didn't know, because in the video, yeah, that's one of the that's the highest honor a fire service can give any anybody. I didn't know. So, yeah, but they're not my songs. Tim picked them, so he plays this video. It's on the website. It's about 13 minutes of all these little Is it a YouTube?
Scott McLean:Is it on YouTube? It's on my website on the.
Tim Roberto:SOTS website. Oh, it's awesome and there wasn't a cry eye, cry eye, cry eye in the house and I wasn't expecting it.
Scott McLean:So you did that and you raised money Very good money, very good money.
Tim Roberto:This is my biggest year yet.
Scott McLean:Okay, do you mind saying how much?
Tim Roberto:It was about a little over 10. Beautiful, yeah, beautiful, and it was worth every stomp, absolutely Every stomp. It's still not enough either. No, yeah, no, because it keeps growing and it tells me Timmy, you're doing the right thing and God's given me an incredible gift to create a space to where I'm an outside agency. You know, for a cop to tell their superiors that they're not doing well, the first thing they do is take their weapon away.
Scott McLean:Oh, I know that I was law enforcement for 32 years.
Tim Roberto:Okay, and I think that's. I've seen it, yeah, and I understand it. But you know, when you're in, it's hard, correct. When you're in that darkness man, that's a big hit. It makes things worse. It's a big hit. Yeah. It's kind of like when the Marine Corps asked me Like Tim, we can't do this anymore.
Scott McLean:It's like taking a fireman off a truck, correct, you know. It's like what do you mean? I can't go do my job, you know. And so that actually adds to the mental health issue.
Tim Roberto:It's like the demoralization too, you know.
Scott McLean:It's for the yeah Right, you have to understand and it takes a lot to understand that it's doing the right thing for the right reason, but it's just, it's a hard truth. It's a hard truth and a lot of us wouldn't, didn't want to deal with that. Like there's a talk about a stigma, a stigma within your department, a stigma within your family. You think everybody's talking about you and you think everybody thinks you're a loser. I mean, oh, I, yeah, it's brutal. It's brutal, yeah, for real. So you raise the money and so where does stomping out the stigma come into this whole thing?
Tim Roberto:Well, what we've done is we've created a space to where it's an outside agency. So, rather than somebody hurt themselves or become another statistic this is one other avenue that you don't have to go through your EAP, you don't have to run your insurance card, you don't have to jeopardize your life insurance, you don't have to do any of that because I do no diagnosing, I do no reporting, we do no back invoicing, nothing. We don't report to your agency, nothing. So, for example, chief Scott calls me and says Tim, we got somebody we're really concerned about. Can you talk to them?
Tim Roberto:In most cases, I want to meet them because I want them to see me. I feel I'm a pretty genuine guy. So you know, game recognizes game and real recognizes real. And I think if I can lower that that guard just a, tad, something might get through the barrier. You know, yeah, and then I have these cards, I just put on the table, I explain what we do and I pretty much wrap it up and split. You know, if they call, then I know they really want to take advantage of they. Don't? I get that too, because they're walking in your shoes a hundred percent.
Tim Roberto:Oh, I know, and this is my way of making one, one of my living amends, and that's to the marine corps, to the other men and I didn't really have any women marines in my life but to the men that I felt so guilty of that I left you, you know, because of my selfish needs. I didn't like how I felt. You know all that, yeah, so it's kind of like a living amends for me. So, like I'll give you an example, I had somebody not too long ago reach out and I was telling them about, you know, they got it through their neighbor or something like that, or maybe my Facebook page, I don't know. And he's telling me what's going on law enforcement. And I told him what we do and how we do it, why we do it and you're safe and all that. And so he said, okay, I'm in, I'm in. What do you want? He goes what do you want? My date of birth and all that, like we always do, like we always do.
Tim Roberto:I got a little chuckle inside. I got to admit. I said no, bro. I said you're good, I got your first name, that's all I need. Yeah, he's like are you shit? I said no, I'm not, he's like, wow, this really is, I really am lucky. So clinically I'm a counselor, I'm not a therapist, but I do understand, obviously, a clinical modality. And so we agreed I deal with only licensed clinicians because you know, that's, that's a commitment to be a licensed clinician. So I have like a you know I'll a commitment, yes, to be a licensed clinician. So I have, like you know, I have a mental health clinician, I have a licensed substance abuse. I have a licensed marriage and family. Because, let's face it, man, we take it home, yeah, and the kids and the wife get some brunt.
Scott McLean:Oh yeah, or the brunt, Unfortunately. I know that yeah.
Tim Roberto:Or being the that guy, right that guy.
Scott McLean:Yeah.
Tim Roberto:And I have a trauma therapist, a couple trauma therapists that I've known, one of them over 16 years. So it's all God, it's all organic, it was born good.
Scott McLean:So let me ask you this Now I know from living the AA world for many, many years that people get spooked by the religious aspect of AA, and I've taken more than a few people to their first meeting and they're like I'm not religious and I'm like AA is not. We use the word God or higher power or whatever you want it to be, but they get a little spooked by that. Now, stomping out the stigma is not a. Is it a religious-based thing? Okay, just so they know.
Tim Roberto:It doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is if I can contribute to the quality of your life. There you go, and if you're a Muslim, a Jew, an atheist, I could care less. It doesn't matter. Yeah, that's just me. Personally, you know, I look at God as good, orderly direction you know.
Scott McLean:So let's get a call to action right now. What is the website? And let's start going down the list of things that you offer at Stomping Out the Stigma. So what's the website?
Tim Roberto:The website is the acronym SOTS, s-o-t-s Inc. Dot org. Okay, acronym sots, s-o-t-s-incorg. Okay, pull it up. You'll see this video of my last walk. You'll see some flyers up there.
Tim Roberto:I call them rat cards so you'll see, stomping out the stigma first responder colors, my phone name, my phone number, because then you'll see I'm pointing at you, yeah, on the rat card, my big fingers pointing at you, and underneath that I say my big finger's pointing at you and underneath that I say you matter, because you do, gosh darn it. You're always there for us and it's time somebody's there for you. Because it's not, it's not a job thing. Like, yes, do some positions in life contribute A hundred percent? And being a police officer, a veteran first responder, yes, there's a lot of life situations that contribute 100%. But I don't want to look at it like this. You know, like I wear a badge, I should be better than the da-da-da. It's a human concern, it's a human experience, you know. So I look at it like that. I don't look at it as an occupational, I look at it as a human thing, and it's stomping out the stigma, not stomp out the stigma.
Scott McLean:Stomping out, yeah, yeah, if you want to google it stomping out the stigma.
Scott McLean:Yeah, yeah, so you have, uh, on the on the website and on the the rat card, you have the culturally competent therapists, right? Individual therapy for depression, anxiety, ptsd, addictions, burnout, etc. Is couples therapy and family therapy available 24? 7 365 100 the number that's on the website, right, if a veteran or first responder or an active duty member or an active first responder wants to reach out, there's no, no doors will get shut. No, I suppose they identify themselves right away. I'm a veteran, I'm a first responder, you know that way. It's like, okay, right off the bat, we know what you're dealing with, right? Yeah, a hundred percent confidential. Hipaa is like the thing there, right, there's no, no talking. No, it doesn't go. Like the thing there, right, there's no talking, it doesn't go outside between the therapist or the counselor or whoever.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, because I'm a certified addictions counselor with the Florida Certification Board, so I took an oath, yeah, and then, of course, my personal journey, because without anonymity the whole thing falls apart. It collapses.
Scott McLean:Yes, so there's no invoices with names.
Tim Roberto:no reporting back to your agency. It's one of those things that's too good to be true, yeah, but gosh darn it. It's true. Yeah, I've had first responders. You know, do a little test, call their EAP, and some of them didn't even get a call back. Yeah, it just blows, my, it just blows me off yeah.
Tim Roberto:And then if you get somebody, you get two sessions. So between my background and these therapists I've known for multiple years, we've agreed on 10. Wow, and I work out the finances with them, wow. So we give them 10. And then the person can make their own decision up. If they still want to keep it off the record, then pay the you know cash yeah, then it's just whatever after that, but you're getting 10 free, correct, it's a lot it's a real lot.
Tim Roberto:A lot of good work can get done in 10 sessions. Yeah, it's two and a half months, no doubt so you have callbacks within 24 hours.
Scott McLean:So if you are in need of the services of stomping out the stigma and you leave a message, please, please wait. They will get back to you within 24 hours, that's, and I I'm sure tim doesn't have to promise that it's it's guaranteed, it's a given guarantee. Given appointments can be made within 48 hours. Right, correct, so very quick, that's pretty fast, that's pretty fast. So if, if you're in that situation and you need help and there's any, just just know that somebody will get back to you, absolutely someone will get back to you, no insurance needed, the confidential, life-changing counseling that speaks for itself 100. That speaks for itself 100, and it's at no cost to you as a, as a uh, as a person calling and needing the help yeah, but I can guarantee you your anonymity because even though it's a, you know it's a.
Tim Roberto:It's a charitable organization behind it. All the red tape is out, blah, blah, blah blah. But you know they also have licenses and a lot of them have student loan debts and I can guarantee you they're not going to risk their license so they can be out there spreading your business around.
Scott McLean:Absolutely.
Scott McLean:I can guarantee you that you know there's a lot of veteran non-profit. I deal with a lot of nonprofits. I talked a lot that I haven't interviewed yet. There's a lot on the list, yeah, but to a, to an organization most I'd say 99 of them are not. They don't venture out like there's no, like we talk about this. Oh yeah, this so-and-so came to my foundation. You know which is, which is. It's a lot of trust. There's a lot of trust when you give yourself up to that it's nobody's business, it's no. And then that's usually what a good non-profit does.
Tim Roberto:It's sacred for me it's sacred. Like you're, you're allowing me into your life further than you might even allow your own wife into your life or your own husband into your life or your. You know, brother, whatever you, we go places like you're bad. I'm sure you've had the talks I like I was telling before. I don't think I ever got to it.
Tim Roberto:I was in hollywood a guy jumped out of a truck man, and I just had to ask him after he walked with me a good five, eight miles, wow, yeah, because he, we were getting into it and I said can I ask you a question? I said a personal question. He's like, yeah, sure, like why did you get so vulnerable like that? It's like you really just opened up the key and he said, really. I said, oh man, then I'd like piss him. I said yeah. I said yeah. He said really. I said, oh man, then I'd like piss him off. I said yeah. I said yeah. I said yeah, he goes. Well, he goes. You're about 40 miles into a 70-mile, 71-mile wall. You're a Marine and you're doing it for us. I felt comfortable with you and there was, like I was saying Scott, before there was another example of a conviction that just made me that more convicted that I was onto something yeah.
Scott McLean:Yeah, because it only takes one person. That's it, if you help. So I say this, and here comes and I had mentioned before the podcast my cheap plug for my foundation the.
Scott McLean:One man, one Mic Foundation. Well, we work with veterans, we teach them how to podcast, in the art and neuroscience of storytelling, because those are very important things, and so my foundation is kind of the opposite. I want you to be known, I want your podcast to be out there and be heard by other veterans and first and anybody that wants to listen. So it's kind of like we go, I go the 180 in that direction. But I also tell them this when you create your podcast and you will, and it's going to be a good quality podcast don't get caught up in the downloads, which podcasters do. It's just something that happens to them when they publish that first, second, third.
Scott McLean:They want to know how many people are listening, and I tell them this it doesn't matter if you get 10,000 or if you get one, just know that that one, that one person listened to you. That's all that matters. That one person listened to you and you might've changed their life. I don't care if you're talking about building bikes. Somebody listened to you, somebody connected with you, and that's what we want, right.
Tim Roberto:That's why I look at it, man, yeah, purpose belonging and connection Correct that one guy, one guy.
Scott McLean:So you know, if you help that one guy in that 71 miles it was fucking worth it, hell yeah 1,000% worth it, and that's what we have to look at.
Scott McLean:A lot of us get caught up in numbers and that's with nonprofits in general, like how many veterans are we helping? Are we helping more of that? Well, some nonprofits can work that way and they can help multiple, multiple people. Then there's the nonprofits that help three at a time. It's slow but steady. You know, movement forward helps. Three at a time, three at a time, one at a time Doesn't matter. You're helping somebody, right? And that one person that walked with you. He walked with you that long for a reason and I'm sure that is a part of his life story. Now I walked with this guy for seven miles. He talked about that. I love that. That's the story, that's his story. He has that story to tell people and we don't know you'll never know, maybe what he tells. Like it changed my life. I went home and maybe I was going to do something, but I walked with him for seven miles and now I'm not. You know.
Tim Roberto:I know it changed mine.
Scott McLean:Yeah, cause you talked about it. Yeah, right, so that's a huge connection right there. Yeah, huge connection.
Tim Roberto:Actually, yeah, it was. I'm telling you, man, it was deep. Actually. There's a guy jumping out of the truck in the video.
Scott McLean:Yeah, and that gave him purpose to do that, Like so it's all. Yeah, like you said earlier, it gets really deep. It gets really deep, but it's all good yeah, it's all.
Tim Roberto:Good yeah, if you go to the website sotsincorg and just watch the video. If you have 13 minutes, make your own.
Scott McLean:Send me. If you can send me that file, I'll put it on my website. Okay, On my Vets Connection podcast website, if you don't mind. No, and I'll give you all the you're on the website anyways.
Tim Roberto:Can you pinch it off, sots.
Scott McLean:I'll try.
Tim Roberto:I'll try yeah, I'll send you through a Rumble. Can you pinch through a Rumble? I think I can, yeah.
Scott McLean:I don't want to say that I know how to pirate videos, because that's illegal, oops.
Tim Roberto:Sorry.
Scott McLean:I would never do something like that off of.
Tim Roberto:YouTube Never.
Scott McLean:That's not proper. Yes, I would never have software that knows how to do that. No, not me. I would agree. I would agree, but I'd put that. I would love to put that on my website. I think that's something that people would want to see and it just it's heavy because my website is all about promoting all these nonprofits. I'll put anything on my website. Yeah, good Thank you, I don't care.
Tim Roberto:Thank you for that.
Scott McLean:Yeah, man, yeah, so, other than your, your endurance. This is funny because I just did a, an episode, and it might. It just aired. Actually it's my, it's my latest episode. It's organization out in oklahoma called 104, 22 and it's fore and they do 100 whole golf marathons, like, and they'll, they'll leave, like this for them. They live around the country, they're veterans, they'll go to, like boca raton, if there's a fundraiser and they'll do a hundred polls. That's like an 11 hour day, right, just like what you were saying, right, and there's a lot that goes into that. It's not just swinging the clubs, right, and they get paid for every Eagle Birdie, dah, dah, dah. So my question to them and it's funny, I'm going to ask you this question, going to ask you this question. So you're 61, 62, 62.
Scott McLean:Do you see, down the road, maybe finding somebody that wants to kind of step up and continue your legacy? Maybe a younger woman or man wants to continue your legacy and do this endurance walk for the first responders? Do you? Do you have that in the plans? Have you ever thought about it? Like, cause you know it will come a time we are human. Now you could be that lunatic guy that's like 84 and he's running marathons Like you see it all the time. Right, or you can be the guy that's like I did my time I set this up. This is my legacy. If somebody younger wants to pick up the torch and and do this, do you have you thought about that, or is that something you think would be in your plans in the future?
Tim Roberto:absolutely. I believe in the spirit of rotation. Yeah, I would, I would love. You know, I got dreams, man.
Scott McLean:I would love to go nationally or even if someone wants to walk with you as part and they, you know, as part of fundraiser, and that way they're in it, like now they get to immerse themselves in it, and then they can kind of you're like, all right, we did it.
Tim Roberto:I'm literally handing you the torch? Yeah, 100%. I think walking it's not only good therapeutically, it just creates that bond you were talking about. That's part of that guy's story now. His belonging and connection Correct yeah, and it just creates that bond like you were talking about. That's part of that guy's story now his belonging and connection correct, yeah, and it just keeps living.
Tim Roberto:You know like it has life to it. So, like I have. I just partnered with a lawyer, a dash cam lawyer up in Palm Beach, phenomenal guy, and unfortunately and I'm just saying what he, you know what he says publicly he's lost a couple people dear to him to death by suicide and he was looking to do something. So somebody told him about us me stomping out the stigma. So he, he wants he's, we partnered and then we're auctioning his car.
Scott McLean:It's live now oh, you had said that that's right. When we met at the uh, johnny schray introduced us. Yep, johnny, did you go on this podcast? Yeah, we met at the mission united yeah, outreach last week, and you were mentioning about the car.
Tim Roberto:Yeah, yeah, so we're gonna. You know the the cutoff is may 1st because we're gonna announce it may 2nd. I've seen this car. When I met him he brought it to, we had some lunch and I'm telling you, man Scott, because he's a car guy too, it is mint, it's a Lexus mint. It's like, you know, got the doors closed by themselves, the headlights moved by themselves, like it's air conditioned seats. It's only got about 90,000 on it, I'm telling you, which, for Alexis, is still not even broken in yet. It's cherry. So the tickets are $25 for a ticket and five for a hundred, and then that's going to be tied into a fundraiser on May 1st at the what was that? The international hotel up there, pga, pga international.
Scott McLean:Yeah, yeah, so we're going to have a big, so it's $25 a ticket. Does the person have to be on site to purchase a ticket or?
Tim Roberto:Nope, there's a QR code. I have an event break, you know link. I'm going to buy one of those.
Scott McLean:I want that Lexus. Oh my God, my wife and I are with Lexus people. Are you she? I'm a Lexus girl, but I Dude if you're a.
Tim Roberto:Lexus guy. If you're a Lexus guy, this guy, he's so in love with this car. You know it changed a little bit but in order for him to finalize it, because you said okay, if you can get a garage, I'll start looking for a new car, but if you can't get a garage, because this is May 1st- yeah. I'm not.
Tim Roberto:I was like man, this guy loves this car, but it shows, yeah. So lo and behold, you know, there's so many good people in this dark world. There's so many good people out there. Yes, and I believe you. You attract what you know yes and I found the garage and I was like what else you gonna come up with, scott? It's a wrap, bro. This, this car is gonna be somebody's car. And I'm telling you man for $25, like you just want to cruise around town.
Tim Roberto:I don't know a little. You know your kid's going to college, whatever.
Scott McLean:Yeah, it's perfect. Yeah, all right, all right, did we miss anything? Is there anything else you want to touch on before we wrap this up? Shout out the website again SOTSinc, S-O-T-S-incorg.
Tim Roberto:It's the acronym for stomping out the stigma and remember stomping Stomping.
Scott McLean:Out the stigma, yeah.
Tim Roberto:We are a safe place. Like I said, there's no reporting, it's just 100% confidentiality and amenity. It was born good, it was born organically. A bust in my ass to raise money 71 miles.
Scott McLean:Does the website have a donation spot?
Tim Roberto:Yeah, you can donate one time monthly.
Scott McLean:Well, this is where I always step in and I say all right, if you like what Tim's doing, give them your money. Give them your money. Go to the website and give them your money. If you love what stomping out the stigma is doing, give them your money.
Tim Roberto:That's an order and if you need a receipt from me, just email me. Yes, sotsync24 at gmailcom and I'll send you to 1099.
Scott McLean:Also, if you are a person who thinks that they could someday pick up the torch and carry on Tim's legacy and do these endurance walks, reach out to Tim. You can find him. He's right there on the website, his number's right there on the website. And talk to him and see if that's something that would work out for Tim, because I'm sure there's going to come a time when Tim wants to hand that torch off.
Tim Roberto:Well, I got another walk April 15th. April 15th, Okay, yep, I'm walking myself to work that day, okay, and that's about just shy of 15. Yeah, all right, so you can donate, sponsor whatever you want to do, have some people I'm not going to say who, but some people coming and it's going to be a wonderful day. There's going to be a lot of camaraderie, a lot of bonding, and we're going to have a little party at the end. From what I understand, I'm not that kind of guy, but, yeah, exactly other people want to take it there. I I just want to bring, keep bringing the awareness because we need to man it's. It's really an epidemic right now.
Scott McLean:Yeah, yeah, Well, all right, Tim, thanks for coming on the podcast. I appreciate your time. I appreciate what you do, and hang in there. I'm just going to do my outro and then we'll talk after. So well, we built another bridge. Today. This is when there's a walking bridge. That's the first walking bridge that we had, Stomping out the stigma.
Scott McLean:Tim's doing great work in a very hard situation for people, but they're there. I think everybody that I've interviewed we're all compassionate people. If you like what they're doing, like I said, go to their website Again. Thank you, Willow and Palm Construction for giving me the opportunity to do this in a professional setting. I appreciate what you guys do for the veteran community also, and, yeah, I think that's about it. Oh yeah, there's a public service announcement that I it's at the end of every episode. Listen to the end. It's it's a very informative PSA on 988 and 211. It's good for veterans, family members of veterans, friends of veterans or first responders pretty much anyone in general. So listen to it. It's informative and I will see you or you will hear me next week with a new episode.
