The VetsConnection Podcast

Ep. 62 - Bob: From High School Drop Out at 16 to Vietnam At 17 to The Streets For 18 Years to Saving Veterans

• Scott McLean • Episode 62

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A veteran’s life arcs from a 17-year-old paratrooper in Vietnam to 18 years on New York streets, to a late-life mission rescuing fellow veterans. Raw scenes of war, failed recovery, homelessness, and hard-earned redemption shape a clear path to purpose.

• early enlistment, jump school, 1962 Vietnam operations
• traumatic recoveries, Saigon bombing aftermath
• post-war collapse, suicide attempt, coma
• marriage under strain, untreated PTSD
• walking into homelessness, survival tactics in NYC
• failed systems, dangerous wards, flickers of help
• 9/11 recovery work, strokes, wheelchair
• Vet Center support, rebuilding with discipline
• mentoring veterans through VA claims and housing
• field outreach in stores, woods, jails
• $78 reunion story, practical compassion
• philosophy on respect, procrastination, and real heroism
• chalk-on-blackboard mindset, redemption as a habit

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SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to the podcast. I'm Scott McClane. My guest today is my friend Bob. I met Bob at the Pompano Beach Vet Center about three weeks ago. And we hit it off. And Bob has a very interesting story. He has led a very interesting life. Bob's a veteran. And well, uh, with all that said, I will let Bob take over. How are you doing, my friend?

SPEAKER_02:

Good, good, good, good. Doing good.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for coming on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02:

If it'll benefit the veteran, I'd do anything.

SPEAKER_01:

Excellent. Yes. So where are you from originally? I'm from Brooklyn, New York. As you could tell with that beautiful accent. What accent? You don't have an accent. Yeah, right. So you grew up in Brooklyn and the projects. In the project. The best place you can grow up. Right. In the projects.

SPEAKER_02:

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no. That's fine. I I grew up uh I'm originally from the projects in Boston, in Roxbury in Boston. So I understand project life. Good life. You know? Yeah. It's different. It's a different life. Right. Uh different lessons.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, grew up. I grew up in Brooklyn. Uh moved out of there probably the age of 12. Uh, we moved to uh uh an apartment on Long Island behind the uh what do you call it? Uh a hairdresser. It was the back of the hairdresser apartment. And then uh I went to school. Didn't have a good school because uh they were all well educated, well dressed. I didn't I didn't have none of that stuff. So uh at 16 I decided to quit school. And uh 17th birthday, my mother said, listen, do me a favor, I've been looking at all these army things. I'm gonna I'm gonna join the army at 17. So I went down to my 17th birthday, signed up. They came and got me, let's see, 13, I don't know, like eight days later. I mean, I'm in basic training. You know, where can you get a 200-pound 17-year-old kid that you uh can groom, you know. And uh at Fort Dex, I I decided I wanted to uh advance. So I went to jump school, Fort Brack. Uh then uh they took me and they sent me to Vietnam. At that time, the the whole group went off on Fort Brake. I was I was with General Steelwell. Joseph Steelwell, he was uh the vinegar Joe in World War II. He was the father. Jumpin' Joe was the general when I went to Vietnam before Smallman was there. Anyway, I go to Vietnam. Uh I'm 17 and a half. I took I took train in Okinawa, the fifth half of the for the jungle. And uh when I got there, uh uh we we had uh we built the city. Uh you Canute, you know it as an airport. It was an airport where they had no housing. So we uh built tents. So so I served with uh jumping Joe Steelwell. He he was commanding uh over the Fifth Special Forces in 62. Uh I went to a place called Chowduck. It was five miles from the Laotian border, there where I was housed. Uh you know, I'm talking about stuff. I uh I I really don't care now anyway, because I'm 80 years old. So uh, you know, we had a uh captain uh that went to the village, he got a piece of ass in the village, and uh he never came back, so we're looking around, looking around.

SPEAKER_01:

Where were you at this point? So you got there in country, yeah, and you were out into in the in the jungle or you were out there.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no, my Chow Duck.

SPEAKER_01:

Chow Duck, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and that was five miles from the Lay of Shim border. Okay. It was 1962, nobody nobody even heard of it shit, you know. And uh that's when the there was uh Green Beret, there was uh CIA and FBI. The FBI changed their name in Vietnam to the CIA, which is Central Uh Criminal Uh Investigation Agency. CID. And uh but anyway, he went to town, he didn't come back. So we didn't look up from uh we took a five mile permit to look him. I found his head anyway. They had it on a stake. They cut his head off and gouged his eyes out. Where did you find him? On a stake. In the village? No, no, five miles out in the in the jungle. Ah, okay. But his girlfriend his girlfriend was there. So they went back and they they did everything you had to do. And uh, you know, I g I guess that was my first encounter with I didn't believe people could do that shit, you know, but that's what they did. So let's see where we are now.

SPEAKER_01:

And that was your you had to bring bring the head back to camp.

SPEAKER_02:

Then then we went back to a place called Cholan at a jump. We took a week's vacation vacation. It was they had no RR when I was over there. RR was the Nang, in-country R. But we went back to Saigon, place called Cholan, if anybody knows where that is. That's the Chinatown in Vietnam. And uh we went back there. I I I can't believe I was in Vietnam 63 years ago. I I just can't believe it. The more I think about it, like talking, I said it's unbelievable. But uh we were called to a cinema down in Saigon. It was called the uh uh Quinlock, uh Quinnlock Theater. That was it. It was off Tudo Street in Saigon, and they uh they had it they they blew it up, so we had to go down there and see what's going on. You know, get the bodies who was a Vietnamese, who was American, long legs, short legs, clothing. So I had to do that shit, put that together. I guess that was number two. Traumatic. And how old were you? At that time, 17 and a half. Yeah, 17 and a half. Now we come back, I go back at the military.

SPEAKER_01:

So you went in when you were 17 and a half?

SPEAKER_02:

No, I went in 17.

SPEAKER_01:

At 17, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

I got out when I was 20.

SPEAKER_01:

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

But uh all then I seen a I seen I seen a uh there was a ROC group. You know, ROC was the Korean soldiers. They had a Via Kong up there in the chopper in term brigade and he wouldn't talk. They ripped his tongue out. I didn't realize how long your tongue is. Your tongue goes is pretty long. Your tongue's about 15 inches long, 18 inches long. You know, it's a long, long tongue. And uh they ripped it out. I said, man, these people.

SPEAKER_01:

Like you know, I shouldn't say these things, but uh you can say whatever you want.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we we were told don't take any prisoners because you meet the same asshole down the down the road next week. So we didn't take any prisoners.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, now we go back to civilian life, the good life, right?

SPEAKER_01:

So you you finished, yeah, yeah. Thank you for sharing that. So the good life. It's uh so your tour is about coming up uh time in over over in and um so yeah, it's time to come back.

SPEAKER_02:

I come back. And the girl that took me out of the gas station, I told you. Did I tell him?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, who I tell him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I I tried to commit suicide when they came back because uh all the shit uh just blew off on me. I laid in the car for they say 15, 16 hours. I didn't die. I don't know the they said my body was a little pink, no oxygen left.

SPEAKER_01:

You you in a in a in a garage, turn the car on.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. I wanted I just wanted to kill myself. I had enough. And uh I woke up, I think uh they said three months later. God knows how many brain cells I lost at at that age, but whatever. And uh I got therapy and therapy and therapy.

SPEAKER_01:

What led up to that, Bob? What led up to that point, do you?

SPEAKER_02:

All the things, all the things I've seen. I mean, uh what I read now, the female mind uh accelerates at the age of 18. The male's 21. That's when it's fully developed. I'm four years younger than that already. Not that I listen, I ain't blaming the military. No, I made my choice. I was RA. They knew draft my ass. I I volunteered. I love America. You know what I mean? America's my country. Uh I I come from Scottish descent. And uh I just found out not too long ago. Matter of fact, I'm gonna do a copy of the papers up to Scott, that my family came in over on the Mayflower. So my cousin asked me if I want to join the Mayflower Club. That we had never uh great, great, whatever. I don't know. I my I know my granddaughter's an 18th generation American. So maybe that maybe that shit isn't stalled in me. That that military, all my family been in the military from the Civil War up before that, American Revolution, well of 1812, they're all in that shit. So I just continued.

SPEAKER_01:

So you get out and that happens. Yeah. That happens. Now are you married at this point or no?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I the I got out of the hospital and uh I married the girl that saved my life. And I should have never done that. I married her for the wrong reasons. Uh plus the baggage I carried is not right to give to somebody like that, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

You have a saying that you told me that when you when you get out of the military?

SPEAKER_02:

When you get in the military, all people you you're discharged with a knapsack full of post-traumatic stress disorder. You're either bullied, you're you're either uh, I'm not gonna say uh, should I have done this, should I have not done this? Only you know what you do is right or wrong. But you're you're all discharged with some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder, and you gotta live with it. I made a I'm 80 years old, I made it, I made them in the wheelchair, had five strokes through art attacks, but I'm still here. Well, to make no I'm gonna go back to this story with my wife. We got married, married 13 years, had two kids, and all during that marriage, uh, I'm screaming and yelling and yelling, you know, it's just an abusive relationship, no physically abusive, mentally, which was a thousand times the worst. And I decided I'm gonna leave. I gave her the house, gave her the money, I took a uh knapsack that I had, I put a change of clothes, I left, and it went to the into the city for 18 years, homeless.

SPEAKER_01:

New York City?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, New York City, homeless. And I'll tell you something. You you you may agree, but I don't care if they agree with your people. You meet a different class of people when homeless. The victims of society. They don't they don't they have a problem, they it's their problem also, but they're a victim of society. You meet a different class of people. Plenty of times they had nothing to eat, and guys would say, Are you hungry? And take two two dollars out and give it to me. Homeless people. Thanks, okay. And uh yeah, it became almost 18 years.

SPEAKER_01:

What was the So there's the transition out of the military into civilian life? That's all right. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I'll I'll take it off.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, that's fine.

SPEAKER_02:

Shouldn't have been on.

SPEAKER_01:

So there's the transition from the military into society into back to the real world, right? Yeah. And that was the you know, the attempted suicide. Well, you say you didn't attempt it. You did it. You did it.

SPEAKER_02:

I committed suicide.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Why I'm telling you that? Because I intended to do it. The only reason why I'm alive, I wasn't religious, uh, really, you know, I believe there's a higher power. But I know during that experience when I was whatever it was, I seen a white door shut my face. It didn't just close, you know, close gently. It slammed. Slam means don't waste that time, you're ready for you yet. You know? Yeah. Right. It slammed.

SPEAKER_01:

So you have that, you get married, now you you and you can't live with that. That's a whole different world for you at that point.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you gotta remember, I got out in 65. Right. People starting to go over. Now they're starting to go over to Vietnam. Now, from 65 to 75, that's 10 years before the war is over. Now, 10 years I got just posted my my own, my own shit I'm carrying. And every day for the next 10 years, I got to hear it embedded, embedded, embedded, embedded, embedded. Two guys killed here, five guys killed here, uh, we're gonna go there, we're gonna go there.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, how did you get treated when you got back? Was it was it too new for anybody to really understand?

SPEAKER_02:

They knew that it was. They didn't know. They they said it was shelf-shocked.

SPEAKER_01:

But I'm saying society itself, you know, you see you you see it and you hear the stories of Vietnam veterans getting spit at. And I I met a Vietnam nurse, a nurse that was literally in the shit over there, and she said she got spit at. Was this too new when you went over there?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it was new. Nobody spit at me. Uh I'm not gonna lie, save people because nobody even knew what Vietnam was. Okay. Nobody, nobody, you know, nobody knew. Yeah. You know, it was a covert operation you were on. You know.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So then you have that that uh incident in your life, and you say, you tell your wife, take it all, I can't, I can't.

SPEAKER_02:

My wife, my wife, and my two daughters were shivering on the corner.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

My daughter was 10, the other one 13, my wife was 31, 32. You deserve that. You saved my life. Look what I did to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That just shit out of Carrie.

SPEAKER_01:

So now there's a new transition from regular, well, regular life into homelessness. You just walked right out into that world. What was what was that experience when you first were like, I'm this is it? Uh I'm hitting the streets.

SPEAKER_02:

I guess I d thought I didn't deserve any better. I gotta beat myself up.

SPEAKER_01:

You knew you were going into a pretty fucked up world. Or did you? That's that's the question. Did you really know what you were getting into? Because you were homeless for 18 years.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Uh when I first went in, I was scared. I said, What am I doing here? What happened to people like I have no family no more? I have no family. I have nothing. I have no family. I have nothing. At least I had something, a foundation. I have nothing. So then I made friends with people in the street. You know? Uh 1980. 1988. I remember going to uh uh the hospital homeless now. It's cold, you know. Central Park, I was sleeping in Central Park over a grade, zero degrees. All I smelled was urine and shit come out of the grates. Over the grates, but how to sleep in the graph. Subway grates, yeah. I needed heat. Yeah. I needed heat.

SPEAKER_01:

Then you said you where else did you sleep?

SPEAKER_02:

You you slept Subways, uh Trees. Oh, this this would kill you. And if any of you guys want to do this, I used to sleep in emergency room hospitals in the maternity ward. Because I figured nobody would mess with me. My wife's having the baby. There was nobody there, but I could sleep.

SPEAKER_01:

I slept all over the place. Slept in trees, you said?

SPEAKER_02:

Oh yeah. Tree. I I slept. Uh I slept in movie theaters on 42nd Street. Yeah. Five dollars all night. I seen enough porn movies where where I could be a uh what do you call it? A critic. A gynaecologist. I've seen enough of the movies.

SPEAKER_01:

I could be a for the people that uh might not know what Bob is talking about. Those five dollar all-night movies were always porno theaters.

SPEAKER_02:

No, no, we had a karate too.

SPEAKER_01:

In the kung fu movies. Kung Fu movies that would run 24 hours.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So I could either be a kung fu master or Ghana College. I laugh about it now, but you know, what are you gonna do? Right. What are you gonna do? But it's never too late because look at me where I've been. And in 1988, uh 500 miles to uh Brexit, Ohio, they had a hospital, a mental hospital. I figured maybe I can get help there. I I knew some was only, but no, I I couldn't get the right help. And uh hitchhike 500 miles, there was a snowstorm in the back of me. I beat that snowstorm to Ohio, to the to the place, to the Frexill. I'd be and when I woke up the next morning, I was happy that that I beat the storm. Then uh oh god 85 I went to uh another hospital. We had one in uh Northport on the island and I said maybe I get help here and they gave me help. They said, okay, uh go into the go into this ward and went to the ward, they put me in the in the uh bedroom here, and uh come out the next day, and everybody's got a mask on in the ward, right? The doctors, the nurses, the uh people peddling the food. And uh I said, how come I got a mask?

SPEAKER_01:

That's the wood you were checked into.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Okay. They said, you're in the AIDS and tuberculosis wood. I said, Are you fucking kidding me? You put me in AIDS ward in tuberculosis? They said, Well, he had no place for you to go. I said, okay. Do you have a candy? I woke up right away. That depression. That depression went down the road, man. Because, you know, you wake up, you wake up. Depression, if you're depressed long enough, you will come out of it. It's a it's a normal phase to come out of depression. But I fled that hospital as fast as I could.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, AIDS would, tuberculosis would. And back in 85, no one really knew anything about it. They didn't know what AIDS no one knew if it was airborne, if it was not enough education out there on it.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, I I took a shower in there, and uh I'm showering. The guy comes in and he starts scrubbing his body, and all the scabs are bleeding down into the water. I said, I get I gotta get out of here, man. I you wake up out of depression, you know, you wake up. So interesting life, huh?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Uh so let's let's let's stay out into in the in the homeless part. What was the most like this is a bad situation scene? Do you have uh any of that? Like, because uh it's mostly a bad situation, but is there anything stand out where it's like, oh, this isn't good?

SPEAKER_02:

Well uh they tell you the truth, they became complacent. That's why it's hard hard to come out of street. At an older age, you you become complacent. Don't forget I come out of the street, I was like fifty-two. I went in thirty-six or thirty-five. You know, so I became complacent with the street. I figured that's all I deserve until the VA rescued me. They rescued me 1993. And um again, the they only touched the surface. I still went out, but in '94 I met a guy called Bob Jones. He was a social worker in the VA Manhattan, and he had a program on 23rd Street called Outreach. The first one they ever had. They used to give you a shower if you needed it, food, no money. And uh he happened to get us a place to stay, was a Catholic mission down in in uh the Little East Side. But not to get off that, uh my mind's racing. See, that's what happens when you start thinking about that shit. The whole life goes ahead of you. I mean 17, I'm 80 now. Look where I am. I'm in a wheelchair. Oh, for you people don't know, I had uh I was down in the Trade Center in 2001, I was living with a girl. And uh she said, Look at this movie. I said, Well, what's going on? The plane hit the World Trade Center, so I said, nice little movie. So I was with her. So I jumped on the bus in in uh Queens. I jumped on the bus over the 59th Street Bridge, I walked down to the Bellevue. I said, Listen, if you need any help, you know, Vietnam, then I did this kind of shit before. Okay, jump in the wagon, maybe you can help us. So I go down there, I was digging out bodies and putting legs together and arms and you know, whatever I could find, you know. And uh I'd done that for like three weeks, four weeks. Then I came home in 2003. Uh I had a headache in my house and my brain exploded. And that that was it, the first stroke.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep. Then I had five strokes altogether, had two heart attacks. Now we'll go back to the end of my life here, which is 80 years old. In New York, I got 40 guys service connected. Took them out of the street.

SPEAKER_01:

So when we say service connected, you went out and you, these were veterans that you said, I'm gonna get you help.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right, because nobody helped me. And I definitely, definitely don't want nobody to be where I've been. You know? So I go get an I got 40 guys in New York. Here in Florida, now I got almost 50 and through the vet center, and I I go out. I I got people, I got one guy got service connect up in Lakewood.

SPEAKER_01:

He uh Service connected disabilities, right? Yeah. And help from the VA. Right. Uh people that didn't know how to do this or they didn't have any process of it, and you walked them through it and got them in it?

SPEAKER_02:

He he knew what to do, but he was short-tempered. Uh-huh. So I had to mellow him down first. And I got I mellowed down the guy in Lakewood VA Center, his name was Mike. I said, listen, this guy's gonna come in. You gotta handle him easy. And you're going in there, and you he's helping you. You're not helping yourself, he's helping you. So I smoothed out in the boat. This guy used to, in the morning, he had a dinghy, he used to throw the mine over, eat a fish, lunchtime eat a fish, and then eat a fish, cover the cover the thingy with a top port. Now, uh that was unacceptable for me. Then I found out he was a UE pilot, shot down twice at two uh uh DFCs, uh uh not DFCs, uh uh I I forgot what he had. I've been so many guys. But he had he was he was he was heavily armored. And uh they they made contact, they talked like gentlemen, and the lady came down from St. Petersburg and got him service connected right away, 100%. And during, when he came back, I meant to tell you, he came back from Vietnam, his wife was pregnant, the wife and his daughter got uh the wife and the baby got killed in the uh car action. So he went off the deep end right then and there. You know, we all we all have factors, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

What made you like decide that you were gonna go out to the streets and and start helping and finding veterans, homeless veterans, and helping them? What was the like there's what was the tipping point you said I have to do this?

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, because I was helped. I was helped by a man called Steve Grossman in New York. He was my psych. I had him since uh 95 till he moved in 2012 when I moved. So I I had him 20 years. Uh he and he helped me and he told me uh he said to me, these could possibly be I'm in a wheelchair, but uh at that time during the stroke, he said, he said, Bob, uh I was in it before. Uh uh, you know, through the stroke and everything. And he said, This could possibly be the best days of your life. And he was right. He was right. I mean, I'm in a wheelchair, but look, it wasn't matter. I get around. I do what I gotta do. I mean, in this vet center, I'm here fifteen years.

SPEAKER_01:

Pompano Beach vet center.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, fifteen years. And uh 14 years ago I fell down when I came here. First of all, uh a week a week before I fell down, uh I go to the vet center to register. I was told when I registered in the Brow VA to maybe possibly the vet center can help you with your issues. Because I'm a hundred percent post-traumatic stress disorder. I diagnosed, so uh, I met Trudy, she's the director, her name is Lieutenant Colonel uh Gertrudis Perez Dusak. Wonderful woman. Yes. Absolutely wonderful woman, yeah. And the second week I went back to see her, I couldn't r arrange to be there. So I called her and said, What's the matter? I said, Well, I fell down, I uh broke my pelvis. I'm in the VA hospital, I'm in the a rehab center. First I was in the hospital. She came to visit me in the hospital. Uh she said, okay. Then she came to visit me. You know, she was my life support because I gave up at that time. This is shit. Uh five, you know, I got five strokes, two heart attacks. I said, I had enough. This this is enough, this shit for me, you know. So she said, no, no, you got more left. You got more left. So I said, okay. I said, you think so? So uh I went there. She had me transferred to the uh VA. I spent five months up there in rehab and healing. Uh the I I don't know if anybody had a broken pelvis. The most horrible pain you could ever have. I mean. Anyway, I wore diapers for five months, and a doctor told me, he said, listen, you're probably gonna have to wear diapers and get out. I said, Oh, okay. So I knew that shit wasn't gonna last. I didn't wear no fucking diapers. I I wore them. I'll wear them when I die. That's it. Anyway, uh she she was a great inspiration in my life because I touched forty-five people that I'm service connected to her. By her helping me, these forty-five got service connected. Now, how many people have their lives touched? So, you know, there's a lot of that centers all over the country. And every I'm not saying everybody's nice, but you have to make a rapport with people. You gotta respect people because you gotta respect yourself. Once you respect yourself, you're gonna respect them. And uh I had another guy, I had another guy in Publix. I just had I just finished with not just a couple of months ago. He was sleeping in Publix. I seen him, I asked him a question. If they don't give me the right answer, right, where were you in the answer? Well, I was all over you, okay. I know, all over my ass. But uh he answered questions and he answered them correctly. So I said, okay, how you doing? He's not good. He's a little dirty shit. So on 441, there's a motel. I know the guy that owns it. So I brought the kid there. He was Iraqi vet. I brought him there and said, listen, take your shower, do what you gotta do, and tomorrow I'll try to get you fast tracked into the VA, which is the hospital, and they send you to Brow it for observation, see if if they're gonna keep you, you know, it they do a lot for you today. Not like it was years ago. They do a lot for you today. So anybody got anything bad about the V8, uh look into yourself. Look into yourself first before you you discriminate against them because they're there to do a job and they they do it. They do it. You gotta have rapport with the right people.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a great, great philosophy for veterans for for some veterans. I won't say all or a lot.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Look at yourself before you criticize the VA.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, what are you what are you looking for? What are you expecting from them? What are you gonna do to help yourself get that?

SPEAKER_02:

But that's their house. Yeah. You're inviting yourself into the house. Into their house. So why would you disrespect them? You know.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree. The VA changed my life immensely. Changed mine. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, look at me. I got I got I got my own place to live. Yeah. I pay my rent. Uh I eat every night. I watch TV. I s I have a social life.

SPEAKER_01:

You got a really big TV, by the way.

SPEAKER_02:

85 inch.

SPEAKER_01:

That's the first thing I noticed when I went over to your apartment. Yeah. That's a big TV. 85 inch. Good for you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, listen, I came from the province. I didn't have a shit. That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

I bought my first watch at 17 in the military.

SPEAKER_01:

Because you had a paycheck.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I didn't have a fucking watch until I was 17. Yeah. The military, I was able to buy. The military was a good family for me. The structure was there. I even today, I respect all officers. I don't give a shit. I respect them. You know. I respect them. But so you also uh you go to prisons too, right? Jails? I go to prison. I did a lot in Nassau County. I did them uh uh I done them in a couple of churches.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh uh uh I'm trying to get into uh And this is looking for veterans, looking to help veterans.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, because they don't really know. Look, uh when you go to jail, of course you're segregated from society. Now when you get out, nobody likes you. So who where are you gonna go? Same advice you were in before. So if I can get them you get out, you come here. They're building a big they're building a big, big complex out of the way I heard uh in Florida for for vets, homeless vets. So if you can make that transition from prison to to uh a place to lay your head, you may go to work. You may try to go to work again.

SPEAKER_01:

When you were homeless, I'm sure you met a lot of uh ex-inmates.

SPEAKER_02:

I met lawyers, I met doctors, I met homeless no homeless don't discriminate. Right. It takes white, black, Chinese, Jewish, Catholic, Muslims, whatever you are, you're welcome to come to the homeless facility. They take you all.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You understand that?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. That means they were all out there homeless. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

The victim. People become victims of the society where they where they can't adjust to people, or people, they bullshit people too much, people don't want to be bothered with them, and then they mean to go outside. You know, they need help. Veterans need help. Listen, when you when you're a veteran and you go down and get inducted, you stick you stick your fingers up. You take an oath. You too you just took a license to kill or be killed. If you're fortunate enough not to go to war, that doesn't make you a better man. No. You got the license though. You're licensed to kill or be killed. Nobody's better than anybody else. We're all equal. If you're fortunate if you don't have to go to war, we don't make a hero. Like I hear all these stories about heroes. Well, I was here, here's hero. The heroes are dead. They're in Vietnam. They they sacrificed the ultimate for you. For me. They're the heroes. The real heroes in Vietnam are dead. We all got paid to do a job. They served and got paid, but they paid the ultimate price to life. That's a hero to me. That's a hero.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And you've had uh since you since you recovered and you got yourself kind of back into society at what, 52? You you bounced back?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh around I I got around 50. Around 50? Was the bounce back? I can't remember exact ages, but between 50 to 52, I started transgressing. Uh 95. So how I was 50 years old, 95. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And you're like, enough is enough. I'm gonna get I have I have to get my shit together.

SPEAKER_02:

I went to see Steve Grossman in the VA. Okay. I was with him from 95 to 2012.

SPEAKER_01:

And that was the road to Oh yeah. And each well, as you say, that started that right there started your what you call road to redemption.

SPEAKER_02:

Redemption, yeah. I'm I read I'm unfortunate, my wife my wife is dead. My daughters uh uh my one daughter uh tolerates me. They're the one don't speak to me now. But tall but I don't blame them. I left at 13 years old they were in 10. I don't blame them. I blame myself. And I tell I I told the one, and she said, I didn't uh she's 60 years old now. We finally made some kind of reconcilation, whatever it is, you know. You know, whatever not whatever it whatever it could be. Uh it is. That's it. You know. So it's never too late. You can always uh all right. I my my saying in life that that I I tell people, life is like chalk uh chalk on a blackboard. You could erase that chalk anytime and put new life on it. Just write it on. New life, new chalk.

SPEAKER_01:

I like that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. It's true. It's like makes sense. It's like like my chalk on a blackboard, erase it off and put new chalk. Do what you want to do.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So that started your road to redemption.

SPEAKER_02:

And I'm still on it. And you're still on it. Oh, absolutely. You're still on it.

SPEAKER_01:

So and you've helped 80.

SPEAKER_02:

I count them. 80.

SPEAKER_01:

80 veterans?

SPEAKER_02:

40 in New York, and just finished with 40 now here.

SPEAKER_01:

And you've you've gone out to the streets and found these veterans and you've found them in woods.

SPEAKER_02:

I found them at Publix, I find them. Uh I found one in my elevator. Uh I find them all over the place.

SPEAKER_01:

Anyway, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I look for them. They're out there.

SPEAKER_01:

And you've gone to prisons and talked to veterans and jails and talked to veterans. And uh so the the yellow envelope there.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Let me take a look at that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you you read it. It's better for you to read than me. Because I've I've only got one hand.

SPEAKER_01:

So well, before I read it, um you uh you got to the Pompe and Ovet Center how?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh when I joined, uh when I came here in 2012, uh I joined the Brouwer uh Health, you know, hospital. So they said to me, they looked in my record, oh, you you got problems with post-traumatic stress. I said, Yeah. They said, okay, we want to uh send you someplace maybe you would feel comfortable talking with them. I said, okay. So they sent me to the vet center, and that's when I tried to join, but I joined five months later because I'd broke my pelvis. And I've been there ever since.

SPEAKER_01:

You know. And Trudy is your she is your everything.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah, she's without her. Yeah, I mean, I gave up. I said, no, I don't want to. You got more. I said, no, how much more do I got? I got one leg, one arm. And the the one leg, the my stroke side is the side that broke. So how am I gonna really rehabilitate that? How? And she now you worry about it.

SPEAKER_01:

So that was it. Don't you worry about it. That's what she's yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

She had more faith. It was easy for her to say at the time, but look where you are today, right? She knew it. She knew it. She was more, she was more, she she actually had more faith in me than I had. You know, I said, am I weak? You know, maybe I was weak at that point. I don't. I I just look, the mind is a funny thing. The the mind has has switches, uh knock-off switch, so you don't go crazy, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. So you've been uh recognized by more than a few uh politicians and uh the department of uh, I guess at the time the department of defense, right? Yeah. Um and you showed me in there you have your your your your medals and your ribbons that you but you're not a guy.

SPEAKER_02:

I I don't I'm I'm I didn't bring these to both.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

I was just gonna say that I want you to know you're talking to the real deal.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh Bob, I knew you're the real deal the first day we met, my friend. Oh, I kind of knew that. Yeah. Um, and that's exactly what I was going to say. You're not braggadocious, you're not like, hey, look at me. This is what I got.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you, I love myself now.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

I I do as you should. Yeah, I look in the mirror at night, comb my hair, shave in the morning, and I say to myself, You're gonna do something else good today.

SPEAKER_01:

So, and and this is this is this morning we learned um how how you've changed. And and so this is the situation. I told Bob the other day I would call him at 10 o'clock in the morning, and I would pick him up at 11.

SPEAKER_02:

And so 10.08 the time was when they called you.

SPEAKER_01:

And so at 10.08 is a phone call. But I was on another phone call and he left a message, and he's like, hey, uh, you said you were gonna call me at 10, and I was like, okay, you know, and I call him back, and this is what you said to me. When I was younger, I could give a shit if I was on time. But in my in my older days and now today, I am very prompt.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm punctual, dude.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm very punctual. And so I said, Well, my friend, I will be there at 11 o'clock. And what time did I knock on your door?

SPEAKER_02:

1059.

SPEAKER_01:

I was not, I was not gonna be late that time.

SPEAKER_02:

1059. No, because I I learned I learned a lot of shit in the tail end of my life. Life goes pretty quick, man. You know? It goes real quick. So you you gotta you gotta make your moves. Uh and procrastination is probably the worst human factor that we that we carry. I would say. Yeah, the worst human character that we carry is procrastination. That's my opinion. Because everybody's white do today, which you can pull off till tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you know, yeah. So in this envelope that I just that the I saw this earlier, but I want I want to uh make sure that we get this. So put this over here. No last name.

SPEAKER_02:

And this no no last name.

SPEAKER_01:

Of course not. Of course not. Um so this was presented to you by who?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh the vet center, Michael. He he's the representative for the vet center.

SPEAKER_01:

For the Pompano Beach vet center.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, he he is uh Gatutis is uh Man in the front desk.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

He he designed this for me.

SPEAKER_01:

So here it is, and and it's titled Some Lives Are Lived Quietly, Others Roar Through History with the Force of A Thousand Battles. And I'm going, I'm going to read this. At just 17 years old in 1962, Robert stepped into the military into a world of discipline, danger, and duty. He didn't just serve, he fought hand to hand. He faced the raw edge of combat, the kind that leaves marks not just on the body, but deep in the soul. He carried the invisible weight of post-traumatic stress, a burden few understood at the time. And when life unraveled when he lost his family and spent 18 years homeless, he didn't break. He endured, he survived, he adapted. And then he did something even harder. He re-entered civilian life, rebuilt from nothing, and found purpose again. But Robert wasn't done serving. When the towers fell on September 11th, 2001, he was there retrieving bodies from the wreckage. A scared harrowing task. A sacred, I'm sorry, a sacred harrowing task. One that demanded strength, reverence, and unimaginable emotional resilience. Then came the strokes, the wheelchair, the second stroke. And now the looming shadow of possible cancer. But Robert he adjusted again. He readjusted to civilian life a second time. This time with a body that no longer moved the way it once did, but with a spirit that refused to be confined. What Robert represents resilience that defies logic, service that transcends duty, strength that outlasts suffering, honor that no metal could ever fully capture. Robert is not just a veteran, he's a living monument to what it means to fight, fall, rise, and keep rising. To Robert, your story is not just inspiring, it's humbling. You faced more than most could imagine, and you've done it with grit, grace, and a warrior's heart. You are proof that the human spirit can be bent, battered, and bruised, but never broken. You are a hero. You are a legend. You are Robert. That about says it all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, all the legend could do now is just help other people. Because hey, I was no I was no nice guy in my life, you know. But uh whatever it was, it is and I'm on a redemption trail. That's all I could do.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Just called he called you a hero.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I think hero to you and hero to other people are different. I think that goes for a lot of veterans. I think you are a hero. From what you started from, what you went through, and where you are right now at this moment behind that microphone, that's a hero story. You're doing God's work. You're doing great work for the veteran community. You're doing great work for the Pompano Beach vet center. You represent them amazingly. Uh and you're not done yet. And it's and it and it's it's a it's to me, it it's uh it's an honor to be your friend, because we're friends now. And that's all there is to it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we when we first talked, you know, I I have a lot of people that say they do this, they do that, they they don't do shit. But the way you talk when I first met you, I said to myself, I'm impressed. I'm not impressed by a lot of people. Listen, let's face facts. Uh okay, this is my theory on life. Respect everybody, be nice to everybody, but watch the devil inside. Because they have two personalities. Watch the devil inside.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

People have it. Oh, yeah. All people have it. Just try to keep it in check. That's all.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. And when we first met, that was I you were kind of uh you're in the group, and this is how this kind of went down. I was talking to this group uh that Trudy invited me to come and talk together, and I was like, this is a this is a tough room. Like I I sat in that room and I'm like, this what 13 of you, 14 of you. I was thinking, I go, all right, this is gonna be a tough room, right? And uh just started talking and started interacting, and you just stopped everything. Like you were sitting off onto the in the corner, and I didn't know anybody from anybody in that room, but you stopped everything. Yeah, I don't care. That's how I am.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm a straight shooter. I talk to my I'm eighty years old.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Listen, everybody in this world is an actor. We look good, but certain people, like in Hollywood, they get paid to act. But we're all actors. I'm gonna dress nice and look clean. You know, it's you came across as a sincere person. And I said to this man, I said, you know, I'm very impressed by you, and people don't impress me. I'm just right out of the book, I just said it. It don't matter to me. I'm on the board of that the uh that center, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm on the board of that.

SPEAKER_01:

And that was uh um that was a very humbling moment. I since I started working with veterans, as you know this, yeah, and we've never talked about what what I'm about to say, but I I can guarantee you we're walking the same path like a lot of us do. When you start working with veterans and you start helping veterans and you start seeing your your work kind of pay off, oh yeah, it's very humbling.

SPEAKER_00:

The best.

SPEAKER_01:

It is it is a I mean, there is nothing that I've ever been through in my life that humbled me and still does, and will continue because, like you, Bob, I'm gonna do this to the day I die.

SPEAKER_02:

I got one more case, quick case of. Absolutely. Take your time. Okay. Yeah. I had a guy in Publix, I told you, yeah, I didn't finish. And I put him in the motel. The motel, yeah. Yeah. I only had$20 on me. The guy said, no, I gotta get 60 for the do me a favor, right? So he took the 20. He put him in the utility room, air conditioned. I said, take a bath, get yourself clean. Tomorrow take and get you in there. So I go there the next day, he's not there. So I I go to I go to the guy, where'd he go? No, he cleaned up and he left. So you knew right away where he went. I told you. And uh, you know, I asked you, where do you think he went? And he went back to Publix. Now he's sitting on the curb. I said, listen, you got any family. He said, I got a family in Chicago, they don't love me, they hate me, you know, all kinds of shit. He was drinking uh drugs. But I said, listen, people still love me somewhere. So anyway, uh I I take him, uh, I call my friend up and we drive him on the phone. I get on the phone first of all to his sister. He gives him the phone away. I said, No, I'm not sending him the money, he's gonna drink it up and dope it up. I said, listen, if I send him to Chicago, will you take him off the bus and put him in a rehab so we can live some kind of life? Oh, if you do that, I'll I'll I'll I'll take him in. Because she thought I was a bullshit. All right, it's$20 there. So now I got I go to uh Miami. I go to bus driver. I said, listen, I got to get this guy to Chicago. So they said it one-way tickets$58. Now it takes 20 hours and six more. So I said, holy shit, guys are gonna be on that bus a long time. But I thought, so I give him$58, right? So now I sent this guy, I put$78 in this guy, right? The whole deal was$78. He calls me two days later from the sister's house. She's crying on the phone. The brother-in-law was crying, the kid, nephews, and they're all hugging. He calls me once a week. He's in the rehab and everything, he's doing good. And he calls me once a week. But for 78,$78, I changed this guy's life. I mean, you could go to the casino and blow that in five minutes. Or go out drinking. Drinking. Or whatever you want to do. But here's a guy for 70. Now, it gotta cost the VA more than$78 to get this guy, how many people he's gotta talk to. Before never get straight. Yeah. I strained down for$78.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's Well, you are an absolute inspiration, my friend.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I know the I'm this are people my family. They're like m uh you know.

SPEAKER_01:

You have a connection to them. You understand them. That's the bottom line. Because I was there. You were there. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

Nobody cared about me.

SPEAKER_01:

No. But they're walking in your shoes.

SPEAKER_02:

They're walking in my shoes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. I go. And you and you walk backwards so you can see them behind you. You don't walk forward. Yeah. You know? You see them. And that's the thing that a lot of people don't. They don't see them. They see them, but they don't see them. If you know what I mean. You see the person standing on the media and holding up the sign that says I'm hungry. But do you really see them?

SPEAKER_02:

No, you don't.

SPEAKER_01:

A lot of people don't. And that's and I'm not judging by any any means, but certain people see them and you see them.

SPEAKER_02:

See, you human being, I'm a human being. You have two eyes, I have two eyes. What you see is here. Yeah. Behind them eyeballs, you don't know what's going on. Right. Nobody knows what's going on behind people's eyeballs. Nobody. Nobody knows what they're thinking. Yeah. You you you got you gotta take intuition, and then then you got they ask the right questions. Like the most loosely word is friend. I I have maybe I'm 80. I I say five friends. I got five. True friends. Yeah. I got 500,000 friendly acquaintances. You're right. No, you're right. Friendly acquaintances. You're right. But five friends that I got.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. You know. I I I know exactly what you mean. I know you do. I know you do. Um well, my friend, because we are friends now.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm officially stating that on the end. So it's on record now, Bob.

SPEAKER_02:

And and if you ever need me to get a talk, but the main thing is all you guys, you know, the ones that really life goes quick. I mean, real quick, man. So you're gonna um the Vietnam veteran is in 80, 75, 80. Young you young guys between uh 30 to 50, look, I respect you guys more than you think, because you guys got us recognized. The Iraqi vet, the uh Persian vet, the Afghanistan vet, they're the ones that got the Vietnam vet recognized. Thank you now for for your service. Because of these guys, these guys do two or three tours. I mean, I can't even imagine. I I did a tour, I did an extra half a tour because I spoke Vietnamese fluently. You know, all the broads I was banging, so I learned how to speak it. But they kept me six months longer for that. But you guys got got my I mean you guys are really true soldiers. Yeah. The soldier warrior. And I always I shouldn't say this because uh a lot of special forces uh they never took married men uh years ago I'm talking about. They never took any man that was uh uh a U.S. which was a draftee. You had to be drafted, you didn't want to R a regular army, you know. So that's all I was exposed to was regular army. You never had a but draftees didn't want to be there, you know. Not that I'm belittling them, you know, but they didn't want to be there. I don't blame them. You know, you got a married wife, you got kids, why, you know. But the the military today is people that want to be there and not pushed into going there. These these are real army, these are you people are real army that's that's my that's how I feel. Yeah. And I'm right. And I think I'm well qualified to say that.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I think so. I think I think your credentials speak for themselves, my friend. Yeah. So well, Bob, thank you. I appreciate your time.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh I appreciate I appreciate what you did for me. What you did for me was give me a cleansing.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm glad I could do that for you, my friend.

SPEAKER_02:

You cleanse you cleanse my mind, my soul, my heart. Yeah. Everybody has to be cleansed. You gotta you you gotta keep it clean. And uh it it it's a machine. Got all the machine, keep it clean. Yeah. These these guys, I mean, I eve I even told Trudy I said we need more younger vets because the guys we got in a group of 75, 80, like me. We're all we're all complacent in what we have now. But these guys, the uh 20 for 40, 35, you you're still the gr not that you not that you're immature, but you still got a lot of groundwork to cover. And you should ground the groundwork should be covered comfortably and not aggressively and not hurt and not injure yourself. It should be a a smooth transition. You know, what I know I know when you see combat, there's no such thing, and uh all kinds of medications don't mean shit, uh and all that, all they get a smooth transition. That's for shit. I I know that. But if you if you meet people that care about you and hope like like Scott, you you meet people like this, you you uh you will go through life. You will go through life. I'm not gonna say not gonna ups and downs, but you're gonna go through life a little more comfortable.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Comfortable.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And you I'm walking in your shoes, my friend. Yep. There you go.

SPEAKER_02:

I w I want I I want you to. And I am, and I will.

SPEAKER_01:

I will continue to.

SPEAKER_02:

I believe you, I believe, I believe you will. Because this is the this is great for people. Yeah. You know, it it's a venting system. I told you that uh I wish they would make a program like you have here six hours a day for 24 hours, uh, six shifts.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, uh four shifts.

SPEAKER_01:

Four hours, six shifts, four hours.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I mean, and keep it uh twenty-four hours because people need to they have these hot lines for uh 988 or 98. 988, yeah. Yeah. And uh but a lot of times people don't want to hear that because the line's recorded, but if they talk to a live person like uh Yeah, I've been there. Yeah I I I'm a suicide survivor, not a suicide trier. Different. By all rights, I should be dead. Okay? And uh But you weren't meant to be. I wasn't meant to I told you. That wasn't meant to be.

SPEAKER_01:

They slammed the door on you.

SPEAKER_02:

They slammed it. It wasn't Thank you, God. No, I remember and I seen a priest after that. Yeah. And he said, no, you weren't ready. If uh if it went nice and easy, that means the time is coming. But we slammed it hard.

SPEAKER_01:

So And here we are.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, here we are.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. Well, I'm gonna do my uh my outro and I'll be right with you in a second.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I want to thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. If you like this, share it. I think Bob's story is amazing. I think more people need to hear it. Please share it. If I've ever asked you to share an episode, it's this one. Uh it is a story of uh of it covers it all. It covers it all. It's resilience and redemption. You know, and and I think there's a lot of us out there that that that understand that. So if again, if you like this, share it. If you didn't like it, well, thanks for listening to us for an hour and six minutes, right, Bob? But I think I I have a funny feeling people like it.

SPEAKER_02:

But oh oh always always remember chalk on a blackboard. That's right. Take that chalk off anytime you want and rewrite new chalk. It'll help you. It'll you'll survive. You'll survive. Winners never quit, and quitters never win. Remember that.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm gonna end it on that. I'll see you next week.

Head Shot

Scott McLean

Host